He arrived 3 years ago in a fit of desperation on my part.
Which is why our elf Donny didn't do much that first year except try to find the highest shelf in the apartment and play peek-a-boo. Even then he was captured more than once. If Donny was real, he'd never have made it home alive for Christmas.
My Hubs, who didn't want the fecking thing to start with, got the most into it, honestly. He merrily embraced his inner tattle-tale, shouting "I'm going to tell Donny!" when particularly frustrated with our Rebels' behavior. At which point I want to gag him with the damn doll.
I'm sorry to be such a hater; I really am just jealous. Donny the Elf is kinda lame. I tried to make him do semi-entertaining things (that can be seen from below and far away). Yes, like a circus performer Donny does his act VERY high up, in places that are practically unreachable by those under 6 feet tall! Since I'm only 5'2", we have to rely on the magic of Christmas, and take care of the little.
So it's understandable, I think, that as the turkey pictures were being replaced by all the obligatory elf arrivals a few years back, I decided to do some informal polling on my Facebook page. I was hoping I could renew my enthusiasm for this "holiday tradition" we've saddled ourselves with.
Know what I learned? I'm not alone in my untethered annoyance. Overwhelmingly, people find the whole thing to be a pain in the tuckus, and a particularly creepy one at that. Because, if you've got doll phobias, or maybe even clown phobias, this little night stalker from the North Pole is a guaranteed trigger.
Seriously, I'm sure this is my jealousy talking, but is it wrong I dream of an adorable way to shove the elf right in their creative A's?!