Deck The Elves!!

Donny & Corky the Reindeer

Deck the Halls with fecking elves

Who has all this time? Pinterest the Elf.

I'm so sick of these impish stares -
How many days of "glee", Elf on the Shelf?

Why did we buy into this gnome?
Just get the feck out! Elf on the Shelf!

If only they just moved themselves
Then I could forget Elf on the Shelf

Wait - it's only real when all alone?

We Whovians call those "Weeping Angels"!

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If you enjoyed this little ditty, please head over and read my guest post on The Inklings of Life:
Tales From Toddlerville: The Fecking Elf Came Back

The Inklings of Life: Friday Frenzy- Tales from Toddlerville: The Feckin...: (Today, I'm happy to welcome Serendipity from Mother of Serendipity for Friday Frenzy. When I first virtually met her, and checked out ...

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Is It Bathtime? (*Frère Jacques)

Is it bath time?

Yes! It's bathtime!

Don't you run! It WILL be fun!

Won't you please get naked?

Come, it's time to get wet!

It will be fun! In the tub! 

Time to wash you, time to scrub you!

Up and down, all around.

The soap won't get in your eyes

If you tilt your head back...

No you won't! You won't drown!

Are you drinking?

Hey! Stop drinking

From the bath? From the bath! 

That is soapy water! That is filthy water!

That's so gross. Oh so gross!

Not that bucket! 

Drop THAT bucket!

I said no! Told you NO!

You will throw the water...

Stop splashing the water on the floor! 

That's it! No more! 

Water's draining. Watch - it's draining -

From the tub! There it goes! 

Yes, you must get out now!

Please can you just get out? 

Leave the tub.  Bath is done. 

Now you're naked! Wet & naked

Running 'round! Up and down!

Let me dry your hair now!

Yes I'll do it slowly... Then I'll comb....

Yes! The comb! 

Let's get dressed now, put some clothes on. 

Warm & dry. Please don't cry! 

Come it's time for pjs!

Yes, your favorite pjs! Put them on!

Just put them ON!

This is stressful. Why so stressful... 

Every time!? Every. Time. 

You'd think we never bathed them! 

Or maybe only bathed them once a month. 

Twice at most. 

Sweet Baby Jeebus! - What was that sound?!

Sweet Baby Jeebus! - What was that sound?!
They climbed up the bookcase!??
Books tossed onto the ground!
Tore all the pages, scattered pieces wide...
Mess well made, kids. Hope you're satisfied.

Why must you climb like a monkey up a tree?
And ruin things so precious to me?
There's no more tucking nice things up high.
No place is safe, no knick-knack can hide.

Sweet Baby Jeebus! - What WAS that sound!??
They got in the kitchen, sprayed water all around.
The ceiling is dripping, and so are the walls!?
The floor is flooded, Grab MORE towels!

How do they do it? What's their secret?
They're stealth like ninjas!
Swift as a cracked whip!
Always dumbfounded, my mouth hanging wide.
Mess well made, kids. Hope you're satisfied.


#TwinkleTwinkle
#TalesFromToddlerville




---------- _________________

Five Minutes of Peace

All I wanted to have was 5 minutes of peace. I figured I'd run out to the laundry room & empty the dryers quickly & more importantly, ALONE.

As I'm getting the laundry out of the dryer. Girl pops her head around the corner & asks to help.
Ok, fine... Thank you.  
Then Boy comes out and asks to help too.
*Sigh* Yep, go for it. 

Both are working away when Girl pulls out several socks & a pair of my undies. As she held them over the basket she tilts her head, looks back at her brother and says in her robot voice:

I got.... UN-DER-PANTS!

Naturally, Boy starts giggling.

Encouraged, she keeps it up, & he must join in the hilarity. With every handful of clothes, regardless of what they are, each kid is shouting UN-DER-PANTS!

I admit, even I was giggling.

Five minutes of peace.

Often what you're looking for is close at hand. Sometimes even closer than you think.
Sometimes you've got it already, you just need the right perspective.

#TalesFromToddlerville
#DumbassRebels.

*POP* Goes the Mom Brain!

All around in Toddlerville

This mommy chases children!

One by one they pluck her nerves

*POP* Goes the mom brain!

Now they're jumping on the bed -

And now they're on the sofa! 

Then when she screams: 

"Just knock it off!"

*BOUNCE* Onto mommy! 

A big cup for her coffee!

One bigger for her vino!!

Now tell me where her sanity hides?

*POP* Goes the mom brain!

http://youtu.be/adZDF6rh36Y