A Fan of Geeking Out: 10 Labels I Love

Labels are tricky, aren't they? 

geek-vs-nerd-know-the-difference via officialshoebox.tumblr.com

While none of us want to be reduced to some cookie-cutter category, we do want to be defined by our passions. We call ourselves "fans," and revel in our collective geekiness. Because for better or worse, these labels are what help us form bonds with others and build communities. 

For my part, I'm thankful to have a quilt of fandoms to wrap around me. This patchwork of my passions, all my geek flags stitched together, are more than a security blanket or a way to be recognized by the likeminded. When viewed together, they could begin tell my story. 

While I might not qualify as a super-fan, or rise to the level of total geek status of any one of these, here's a list of Fandoms I'm thankful to be part of: 

• Star Wars: May the Force Be With You, Always est. 1977

• Yankees: Since the 1977 World Series. Admittedly I first rooted for them because my brother was a Dodgers fan, and it was the most annoying thing I could do as a little sister. 

• Cats: Unashamedly a Cat-person. Dogs are fine, I had a pet goat, I still want a pig, and I love owls, but I'm pretty sure in all my past lives I was a cat. 

• Sherlock Holmes (any and all versions): My daddy introduced me to Mr. Holmes at a very young age, and I fell in love. "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbably, must be the truth." Elementary, really. 

• Coffee - Sweet Nectar of the Gods which I serendipitously discovered in various forms sometime in the late 80s. 

• Douglas Adams - "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." I will forever be in debt to my brother for the introduction to one of the most brilliant authors I've ever encountered.

•  Doctor Who - particularly being a fan of Adams,  I'm ashamed to admit how late in life I became a Whovian. I can recall conversations when I was younger about the series, but I never sought it out. Once I stumbled upon it, however, I was instantly hooked. For those who will wonder, Ten is MY Doctor, and Donna is my favorite. Others mourn Rose, I long for more of the DoctorDonna.

• Apple - From the first, I found Apple and all the subsequent iProducts to be intuitive, and lovely. iHeartApple. Not only that, I geeked out reading Douglas Adams was also a devout user, as well. If you took away my Apple products, I would be lost. Probably literally, depending on where you stripped me of my phone. 

• Disney and Pixar Animation: What can I say, my inner child is 4 and I like to make her happy.

• Clue: The board game, yes, but the movie is quite possibly my all-time favorite. To the point where I have a digital copy on my iPhone, because... I'm a geek. 

What Doctor Who taught me about Thanksgiving.

"The soufflé isn't the soufflé, the soufflé is the recipe." - Clara, Doctor Who


Today was Turkey Day!! I love Thanksgiving!! Genuinely my favorite holiday.

The traditions always made this holiday so special for me. Watching the parade with my folks. Setting the table; pulling out all the good china, silver & serving dishes. Cooking the same things every year - my mother always cooked them from her notes from years past. Tricks that worked, the order that dishes needed to be prepared.

In the years before she died, my mother had begun grooming me to take over much of the Turkey Day responsibilities. Using my mom's  recipes, yes, but drawing on all those years as a child hanging about the kitchen.

Mom died rather suddenly the summer I turned 30, and since then in my head "honoring tradition" has meant that I do ALL the cooking. With the exception of my Irish husband's suggestion that we substitute roasted potatoes for mashed, I've maintained the exact same menu my mother fixed.

The soufflé isn't the soufflé, the soufflé is the recipe.

Except this year... well, this year I broke with tradition left right and center.

Stuffing in the bird? Nope (sorry Dad)
Pumpkin pie? No. My husband isn't a fan, and frankly neither am I. Made a batch of pumpkin muffins this morning tho, so the gourd was covered.
Pecan Pie - well, yeah. But this year I made a batch of spicy spiced pecans to use in the pie instead of plain.
The mashed sweet potatoes were not, for the first time in my life, Bruce's Yams (fresh veg!) & there are no marshmallows in my house. Spiced pecans here too.
Corn? Nope. I made corn bread muffins, because my boy always scarfs one down. I think that counts.
My FAVORITE drunken cherry jello? Not this year. I did miss it - Maybe a reassignment to Christmas?
Finally, much to my disbelief, we added Brussel Sprouts to the menu. WTF?! I literally ate this veg for the first time - IN MY LIFE - 4 days ago when I ran a taste test for hubs.
The cranberries! I almost forgot! I made cranberry sauce from scratch, rather than go with the ol' can stuff.

The soufflé isn't the soufflé, the soufflé is the recipe.

So what gives? Well, I'll tell ya... I was watching Doctor Who with my son the other day, and Clara aka Soufflé Girl says her bit, & it finally hit me - I'm not my mother.

No really. I'm. Not. My. Mother.

So why am I trying to be her on this one day of the year? No matter how much I try, my mother isn't going to rise out of the perfect batch of jello. And frankly I don't think she's rolling over in her grave because I used spiced pecans in the pie.

Because Mom's recipe for Thanksgiving is so much more than how much sage I should use, or what veggies I serve. Her recipe calls for one part parade, one part dog show, on part football, one part Alice's Restaurant, one part fellowship, one part squabbles, and a double helping of delicious food.

Cuz it's Thanksgiving, for pity's sake - It's still all about the food!

**Originally published on November 28, 2013**

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My 3-Panel Picture of Friendship

Friendship. 

I've spent the better part of this week thinking about that word, and I've discovered that for me, it brings up 3 very distinct lines of thought. 

On Intimate Strangers

I used to say I was an extroverted introvert. A social butterfly who'd rather be, and sometimes is, a fly on the wall. 

In high school I ran with a number of different groups. I wasn't the popular girl, I just played up different sides of myself depending on what circle of friends I was with. It was exhausting. 

By the time I was in college I found it easier being a part of a large group, but as people we organize ourselves into smaller sets. 

Always, I found myself feeling rejected. Wishing I didn't give a shite what others thought. Then one day I was listening to music and I had an epiphany: ALL friends are just intimate strangers. 

I made that connection & realized the Indigo Girls were right, "I have no need for anger with intimate strangers." It may sound silly, but I was freed. My view on friendship is now always through this lens. 

Which is to say: if you are happy with yourself, proud of how you conduct yourself, then hang the rest. The people who value that way of being will stick.  

On Losing Friends

Doctor Who, 11th Doctor, Matt Smith

At the risk of sounding uppity or insanely geekazoid, I view myself rather like The Doctor. I've regenerated several times over the course of my life. I'm fairly certain I will again. But I've got all those other lives inside me. I honor them all because without them, I wouldn't be - I couldn't be - me. 

This quote from Doctor Who is such truth. We ALL change & grow, all throughout our lives. 

Sometimes our relationships are invigorated, sometimes they are unaffected. 

Often, however, such change means friendships end. Not in a blaze of glory or other drama. Then one day you remember someone who used to be there. Like Kevin Costner's character in Fandango, someone has just faded away.  

Sometimes I find I'm like The Doctor, and I'm the one who has left my companion, imagining I'd never come back. 

On Technology & Virtual Friendships

I reckon I'm not alone in saying in my day to day life I am connected to literally all my friends almost exclusively through social media. Some, like my SisterCat, I only see a few times a year. Some, sadly, I may never see again. 

Some of my closest friends I will never meet in person because this world of social media has given me extraordinary new friends. 

It has also helped me renew friendships with people I thought were lost forever. People who knew a different me. An earlier version. In my early days on Facebook I reconnected with a few of my best friends from 4th grade. Kids I met at about age 8 or 9, I guess. I found it remarkable that we are much the same as we were in grade school. Grown, different in ways I didn't anticipate, but still the same. 

We were a military family, which I credit with why I don't have friends from my early childhood. The year I started 4th grade was when we moved to Governors Island, a base here in NYC. I was twelve when my family left. Several of the friends I made during that time became "lifelong" friends. 

Did those bond stick because we were all military brats who knew the drill, or because we tried harder because of our semi-nomadic lifestyle? Or is it like Stand By Me - we never have friends again like we did when we were twelve?

#FriendshipRevolution

What I have learned is this:

The most important part of friendship is being true to ourselves & honest with our companions. 

Friendship, like Life, is Dynamic.

The friendships that end aren't any less important than the ones that last. 

Each person we take as our companion has the potential to alter our perspective. This is to be valued regardless of how the friendship started, how long it lasts, or how often you get to share space. 

Resolve or Evolve, THAT is the Question

Time really does accelerate the older you get, doesn't it? Because, seriously, 2014?!!? I'd swear it was just 2004 last year. 

For our family 2013 was a year of significant change. Although, to be honest the last 5 years has been full of changes for me. Whether they be new relationships, babies, offices, homes, jobs, classes, teeth, foods, toys, newly walking, newly diaper free... Now, as a mommy with two toddlers almost every day brings something new to one of us. Granted, not all that is new is monumental, but "NEW" is familiar territory. 

To start this year off, we've just gotten a shiny new iMac. So for the first time in about 2 years I'm sitting at a computer and typing. Strange & oddly satisfying. It has me excited about all the things I can do. 

Like everyone, I've been thinking about what else this New Year might bring. Not starting the year pregnant or nursing makes me feel like I should have a bit more flexibility in 2014. So, what do I want to DO this year?  

I have a laundry list of things in mind, of course. Just off the top of my head: 

• Read more; read with the kids, read a novel, read more articles & interesting things that spark the old creative bug. 
• Spend more time being creative: writing, photography, more crafts with the kids. My art school days should be put to use at least a little, right? 
• Do more yoga, eat better, cook more and introduce more variety to our family menu. 
• Catch up on some brain candy - like classic Doctor Who episodes. Ok, other things too, like award winning movies, & I never finished last season's Luther, either. But chiefly I'd like to go back and catch up on some old Who. (Not as lofty as some other goals, but honest.)

But seriously, none of that is particularly monumental. Or that needed Jan 1st as a start date. Can I call them resolutions, really? 

Thankfully my friend The Internet is here to tell me a resolution is the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler ones; an act of determining. Alright... I get that making new year's resolutions is an act of determination, but I'm more interested in the first bit.  Breaking down a complex notion. Because I feel like that list up there is really more about the ways in which I'd like to see me & my family grow this year.  

Growth. Seems odd to call a "determination to grow" a "resolution". I mean, isn't growth what LIFE is all about? Growth over the course of our lives - that sounds more like evolution than resolution to me.

We usually think of evolution as a scientific thing, right? Species evolving over generations to adapt to their environment, etc. But getting the dictionary out again I find evolution is a process of continuous change from a lower, simpler, or worse to a higher, more complex, or better state: growth.  A process of gradual and relatively peaceful social, political, and economic advance.

Gradual & peaceful advancement. Continuous change from a lower to a higher state. That's more like it. In yoga we work to grow a little stronger, go a little further, deeper each day as we practice. Even if it is only the mind we can move in the direction we want to go. Each practice we aim to be determined in how we want to grow. In essence, we resolve to evolve. 

So, I say we forget about making old school resolutions, most of which we are destined to abandon and feel like crap about if we can't stick with it. Why create an opportunity for negative feelings? 

This year I'm bringing my yoga mindset out of the studio! My only resolution is to keep evolving, and to help my family & friends do the same. Growth over time, peaceful advancement. Each new day is the start of a new year, if you choose to see life from that perspective.

Namaste.