Does a Clock Worry When it's Time to Unwind?

Motherhood clockworks:
the balanced pendulum swings 
in constant motion. 

Tug the weights too much
- pendulum energy shifts - 
wrecking ball mood swings. 

Inspired by all the mothers we celebrate this month, the amazing women of Mommitment, as well as this week's prompt from Haiku Horizons. 

A Million Stories in the City: Why Do I Love One About a Cigarette?

Last night my train of thought stopped on a memory from the Leap Day before last. Which is, of course, eight long years ago.

Back then I was a thirty-something working woman. A daily commuter. A regular smoker. Just a few of the ways it was a different life entirely.

How to Win the Morning Game in 33 Moves

What can I say? Once in a blue moon I have my shite together enough to have a "Good Morning."
How do I do it? Let me break it down:

• 1   9 o’clock: Say ‘bye to Hubs & start searching the apartment for coffee mug. 
• 2   Stumble across last night's To Do lists of calls to make, projects to finish, etc. Add notes about half tackled chores and projects in every room. 
• 4   Find mug in kitchen next to coffee maker. Take sip & start to empty dishwasher. Get called to help kid to potty. 
• 5   After cleaning up messy kid & toilet, wash hands & go back to kitchen & much needed coffee.
• 6   Get a few more pieces out of dishwasher,  discard them next to the fridge when frantically called to check out emergency. Take selfie with Boy and very important newly designed robot.  
• 7   Realize girl is not wearing unders after poop accident on toilet; head into kids room & discover it is shockingly tidy. 
• 8   Have idea for silly blog post, go in search of phone to make notes. 
• 9   Look up from making list & ponder how the hell coffee mug ended up on top of living room bookcase. 
• 10   Upon hearing sounds of dishwasher being started, rush to kitchen and cancel it. Send Boy back to the robots. 
• 11   Take another sip of cold coffee, note the pot is empty. Remember to pull out teabags for a  pitcher of iced tea for afternoon caffeination. 
• 12   Get called to another bathroom, wipe another booty, wash hands for the hundredth time. 
• 13   Adding items to blog list, Note you skipped step 3 & decide you’ve come too far to fix it. Set up iced tea pitcher. 
• 14   Giggle because you typed “fart" instead of “far." 
• 15   Become suddenly & urgently aware you need to pee. Then panic as you remember Girl is in unders (not diaper) & wonder how long it’s been since she was on potty. 
• 16   Discover her splashing in her own puddle and curse self for not paying attention to time. 
• 17   Sift through all the laundry to find other things to throw in washer with wet towels and unders. Give up and start the stupidly small load. 
• 18   Discover Boy swiping a roll from the breadbox & check clock before taking it away. Confirm it is indeed lunchtime. Grab each kid a cheesestick to go with their rolls. 
• 19   Wonder how the hell it got to be lunchtime, anyway, as you finally finish emptying the diswasher. 
• 20   When reminder alarm goes off on phone wonder where the hell did the phone go? And then what alarm is for… 
• 21   Several minutes after alarm stops curse out loud because you finally remember that everyone might still be in PJs, but you all need to be dressed and out the door in 20 minutes if you’re going to make it to the Boy’s doctor appointment.
• 22   Start getting Boy dressed & realize all his clean shorts are in the dryer. Stop on your way back to pack a bag of snacks & drop it by the door. 
• 23   Walk into kids room to discover Girl in another puddle just outside bathroom. Note she was in no way rushing to reach the toilet 3 feet away from her. 
• 24   Put Girl in DIAPER and pluck a combo of semi-clean clothes from the top of her dresser while simultaneously using bath towel to mop floor with one foot. 
• 25   Congratulate self on multi-tasking. 
• 26   Cramming the new wet stuff into laundry, switch to cursing that half load of laundry that is just finishing it’s cycle. 
• 27   Note how shrill you sound as you shout to kids to put on their shoes. Decide to apologize after you’ve gathered ALL THE THINGS and get them in the stroller. 

• 28   After a moment's hesitation decide there is no need to change out of the yoga pants and tank you’ve been rocking for the last 48 hours. Grab a button-up to wear as an “over” shirt.
• 29   Beg children to just grab their shoes and get into the stroller.
• 30   Buckle down the kids; shove in all 3 bags, the snack pack & the ice waters. 
• 31   Take opportunity of locked down kids to dash to the bathroom & pee without fear of catastrophe. 
• 32   12:10pm: Hit the elevator button and prepare for one or both of the kids to start screaming about who’s turn it was, and who gets to push the lobby button inside. 
• 33   With spiteful satisfaction, push the lobby button your own damn self. 
• 34    Exit the elevator and glide through the building lobby, smiling sweetly, while softly apologizing to kids for turning into psycho mommy. 

Explain you were frantic because you simply don’t know where the time went this morning. 

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Resolve or Evolve, THAT is the Question

Time really does accelerate the older you get, doesn't it? Because, seriously, 2014?!!? I'd swear it was just 2004 last year. 

For our family 2013 was a year of significant change. Although, to be honest the last 5 years has been full of changes for me. Whether they be new relationships, babies, offices, homes, jobs, classes, teeth, foods, toys, newly walking, newly diaper free... Now, as a mommy with two toddlers almost every day brings something new to one of us. Granted, not all that is new is monumental, but "NEW" is familiar territory. 

To start this year off, we've just gotten a shiny new iMac. So for the first time in about 2 years I'm sitting at a computer and typing. Strange & oddly satisfying. It has me excited about all the things I can do. 

Like everyone, I've been thinking about what else this New Year might bring. Not starting the year pregnant or nursing makes me feel like I should have a bit more flexibility in 2014. So, what do I want to DO this year?  

I have a laundry list of things in mind, of course. Just off the top of my head: 

• Read more; read with the kids, read a novel, read more articles & interesting things that spark the old creative bug. 
• Spend more time being creative: writing, photography, more crafts with the kids. My art school days should be put to use at least a little, right? 
• Do more yoga, eat better, cook more and introduce more variety to our family menu. 
• Catch up on some brain candy - like classic Doctor Who episodes. Ok, other things too, like award winning movies, & I never finished last season's Luther, either. But chiefly I'd like to go back and catch up on some old Who. (Not as lofty as some other goals, but honest.)

But seriously, none of that is particularly monumental. Or that needed Jan 1st as a start date. Can I call them resolutions, really? 

Thankfully my friend The Internet is here to tell me a resolution is the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler ones; an act of determining. Alright... I get that making new year's resolutions is an act of determination, but I'm more interested in the first bit.  Breaking down a complex notion. Because I feel like that list up there is really more about the ways in which I'd like to see me & my family grow this year.  

Growth. Seems odd to call a "determination to grow" a "resolution". I mean, isn't growth what LIFE is all about? Growth over the course of our lives - that sounds more like evolution than resolution to me.

We usually think of evolution as a scientific thing, right? Species evolving over generations to adapt to their environment, etc. But getting the dictionary out again I find evolution is a process of continuous change from a lower, simpler, or worse to a higher, more complex, or better state: growth.  A process of gradual and relatively peaceful social, political, and economic advance.

Gradual & peaceful advancement. Continuous change from a lower to a higher state. That's more like it. In yoga we work to grow a little stronger, go a little further, deeper each day as we practice. Even if it is only the mind we can move in the direction we want to go. Each practice we aim to be determined in how we want to grow. In essence, we resolve to evolve. 

So, I say we forget about making old school resolutions, most of which we are destined to abandon and feel like crap about if we can't stick with it. Why create an opportunity for negative feelings? 

This year I'm bringing my yoga mindset out of the studio! My only resolution is to keep evolving, and to help my family & friends do the same. Growth over time, peaceful advancement. Each new day is the start of a new year, if you choose to see life from that perspective.

Namaste.